Current Music: Marla and Tyler Flashback #2 (remix) - The Dust Brothers
But boy how i love to beat myself up.
forget it.
Moving on, I'm doing the Ren Faire this year. It is a lot of fun. The saturday night parties are intense. This last weekend was Catholic school girl night and dear jesus the 'dance' (used in the loosest sense of the term) contest was basically an excuse for drunk women to use the dance pole for stripping. Flying labia. Ingrained in my mind. Met a pretty awesome young lady named CJ who is indeed my soulmate. Geeky chicks for life.
I have the party at the Speakeasy this weekend so I'll be missing Gigglefest (the german beer girl night) at the faire but, fuck it. Meloversary comes around but once a year and i am NOT going to miss the year with a full fucking bar. I love booze. And booze for tips just makes it so much better. I miss my LA friends. Despite all stereotypes, not all people down south are douchebags. And I am excited to see all of them that I get to see.
I've got some issues but life has been really low key. I'm just trying to find out where I'm wanted and stay there instead of, maybe, pushing myself where I'm not wanted. I've got one place in particular that i think i may be pushing. I'll just forget about it, i guess. I can't expect to much from this guy, honestly. I expect a lot from people because i keep such high standards and, while unfair for some, it keeps me in some excellent company. However, emotions cloud my judgment of character. I'm excusing myself for being so hopeful.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Monday, September 08, 2008
A Life Full of Fail
Current Music: Gangster Tripping - Fatboy Slim
I was laid off from my job. How is that for fail? The spa I worked at had a sexual assault thing happen. Our newest CMT, not even a month out of training, was accused of feeling what he shouldn't be feeling during a massage and the woman's sister used to be a reporter. Hence, I have no job because now there is no spa. One dude gets 12 people out of work. I had to move back in with my parents and that means moving back in with my sister. It is hell to live with my sister. Her deadbeat boyfriend is over every night and, apparently, living her temporarily. They have each others names tattooed. He has her name on his ring finger and she has his name in a heart on her thigh. And, the kicker is a good one too; they are both 19. Or he could be 20. I try not to talk to him. The guy has a kid, a history of cheating on my sister already, a
habit of bailing for a month or more and a the gall to act like he has more of a right to be here in my parents house than I do. You see, and mom thinks he's okay. She kinda likes him. At least he's not a felon and a meth addict like the last guy, right?
Ergh, I don't know what it is about my relationship with mum and Annie that can make me ball my fists, grit my teeth and rant but it's most assuredly not healthy.
I am re-acquiring a bunch of soundtracks and scores that i lost when i switched from my desktop to laptop. The only physical CD that i needed and was unpacked was the GO soundtrack which was happiness. Animatrix, Matrix and Fight Club are on their way. I'll eventually think of more i want. I just don't want to do what i did last time i got on a put-music-on-my-computer kick and put stuff I won't listen to very often and will skip if they come up in a shuffle. Like the Requiem for a Dream score. I mean, it was excellently done, very elegant yet disturbing, perfect for the movie. However, when doing anything in real life, it's just not right.
I'm feeling really neutral. It happens a lot when i stay up all night like I just did now. I should sleep. I've got billiards tonight. Oh yeah, Sam got me to join his 9-ball team. I don't want to be, nor should i be, awake right now. It is coming up on 7 AM right now (yes, it does take me a long time to open up at all, even to a blog) and I just can't bring myself to sleep yet.
Also, I have two very painful pimples and I want them GONE before i see Rich tomorrow. Weird? Yes I am. Vain? You bet your house and kids. Smart? Not in the least. I'm sitting with two pimples, one on each side of my nose, both oozing and red and irritated because i HAD to pop them despite the fact that they were not even close to ready. I've got a bit of sulfur mask that i swiped from the spa before all was closed on both of 'em and I'm hoping that it will do something before 6 PM, when i leave for the pool hall.
I revisited RYL tonight. Hadn't been there in ages and i guess something crashed on their end between the time i was last there and recently because everything was different and the digital art I had submitted, granted the whole section they existed in, was gone. I searched a dozen different combinations of keywords on google before i found someone re-posting my things as images he had saved before the crash. It was kinda a trip to see the stuff i made back in the days when i needed a site like RYL (which was Ruin Your Life when I joined, not the current Recover Your Life). I was really flattered to read people saying how nice they were and how happy they were that it was saved and to compliment the person who made it, who ever they may be. Granted, it was pretty shitty PS6.2 crap but I was young and angry and thought it was cool. I'm a little over that stuff, I haven't cut in years and years and i most surely do not need to sit around on an internet forum to give my life any meaning. At least I hope not. Now i just drink to excess and go home with people I know better than to go home with. *eyeroll*
I was laid off from my job. How is that for fail? The spa I worked at had a sexual assault thing happen. Our newest CMT, not even a month out of training, was accused of feeling what he shouldn't be feeling during a massage and the woman's sister used to be a reporter. Hence, I have no job because now there is no spa. One dude gets 12 people out of work. I had to move back in with my parents and that means moving back in with my sister. It is hell to live with my sister. Her deadbeat boyfriend is over every night and, apparently, living her temporarily. They have each others names tattooed. He has her name on his ring finger and she has his name in a heart on her thigh. And, the kicker is a good one too; they are both 19. Or he could be 20. I try not to talk to him. The guy has a kid, a history of cheating on my sister already, a
habit of bailing for a month or more and a the gall to act like he has more of a right to be here in my parents house than I do. You see, and mom thinks he's okay. She kinda likes him. At least he's not a felon and a meth addict like the last guy, right?Ergh, I don't know what it is about my relationship with mum and Annie that can make me ball my fists, grit my teeth and rant but it's most assuredly not healthy.
I am re-acquiring a bunch of soundtracks and scores that i lost when i switched from my desktop to laptop. The only physical CD that i needed and was unpacked was the GO soundtrack which was happiness. Animatrix, Matrix and Fight Club are on their way. I'll eventually think of more i want. I just don't want to do what i did last time i got on a put-music-on-my-computer kick and put stuff I won't listen to very often and will skip if they come up in a shuffle. Like the Requiem for a Dream score. I mean, it was excellently done, very elegant yet disturbing, perfect for the movie. However, when doing anything in real life, it's just not right.
I'm feeling really neutral. It happens a lot when i stay up all night like I just did now. I should sleep. I've got billiards tonight. Oh yeah, Sam got me to join his 9-ball team. I don't want to be, nor should i be, awake right now. It is coming up on 7 AM right now (yes, it does take me a long time to open up at all, even to a blog) and I just can't bring myself to sleep yet.
Also, I have two very painful pimples and I want them GONE before i see Rich tomorrow. Weird? Yes I am. Vain? You bet your house and kids. Smart? Not in the least. I'm sitting with two pimples, one on each side of my nose, both oozing and red and irritated because i HAD to pop them despite the fact that they were not even close to ready. I've got a bit of sulfur mask that i swiped from the spa before all was closed on both of 'em and I'm hoping that it will do something before 6 PM, when i leave for the pool hall.
I revisited RYL tonight. Hadn't been there in ages and i guess something crashed on their end between the time i was last there and recently because everything was different and the digital art I had submitted, granted the whole section they existed in, was gone. I searched a dozen different combinations of keywords on google before i found someone re-posting my things as images he had saved before the crash. It was kinda a trip to see the stuff i made back in the days when i needed a site like RYL (which was Ruin Your Life when I joined, not the current Recover Your Life). I was really flattered to read people saying how nice they were and how happy they were that it was saved and to compliment the person who made it, who ever they may be. Granted, it was pretty shitty PS6.2 crap but I was young and angry and thought it was cool. I'm a little over that stuff, I haven't cut in years and years and i most surely do not need to sit around on an internet forum to give my life any meaning. At least I hope not. Now i just drink to excess and go home with people I know better than to go home with. *eyeroll*