insufficient

Do you have a friend whom you love mucho? You hang out with this person register for the same classes and go out together at night and do fun things for the first time with one another and try your best to keep the other happy? That special close friend who you feel like you have known for much longer than you really have. Mine is a beautiful young woman who is very much sexual. The men all look at her and want her. She is strong and forceful and loud and demanding and gets what she wants. She doesnt take no for an answer and she commands the spotlight for many reasons including her vast sexuality and constant references to sex and sexual activities. She makes people want her and want to be around her. I like to be around her when other people arent because she becomes like me, quiet and hurt and unsure of the world and plans and the future. But i keep getting this jealously boiling to the top. I want attention too. I want someone to talk to me, even if i'm not the most forward aggressive girl in the room. I always seem to fall into these groups of attractive people who wince and look at me and i can see it in their eyes that they know i could never measure up. My friend has everything, all the attention of the boy she wants, the problem is she wants him to want her in a different way. Nothing but true all out, no holds barred, i-love-you-even-after-you-got-in-a-car-accident-and-destroyed-your-whole-body love. Romance novel love. At age twenty. She has him, wrapped around the stong seductive finger of hers but its not enough. And even so, the attenions of any male in the vicinity must be in her control as well. Which, because i am around her pretty much all the time, means i am commonly ignored to sit with myself or Omer, who is often equally ignored once another male comes on to the stage. And i'm so uglyjealous because i can't do that. My body isnt as enticing, my lips dont pucker quite as suggestively, my innuendo falls flat and my looks are never recieved with all eyes on her.

ive talked to much about this to myself.