this phantasm of falling petals vanishes into moon and flowers. . .

this is Krista feeling like nothing in the whole world is really all that important anymore. And know why i feel like this? because it is probably true

okay. it seems to me like high school made it a lot easier for me to laugh at people. ESPECIALLY about love and all that it entails. Though anna is getting the short end of the love stick with me so at least i have company. wonderful, understanding, sweet company. Though this isnt really the best place to have people with in.

it seems like everyone is happily in some sort of romantic bliss. and at the very least anna knows how she feels about her someone, even if he feels he is very much in love with someone else. Me? i dont have emotions anymore that way. I have crushes for weeks at a time and then move on. It's kinda lonely to not have any sorta connection with people i feel like that towards. i wish it was so easy to be jaded

and cynical.

and tired.

but the fert, the fert loves me.

killing yourself for fun and profit

I've legally obtained an obscene amount of music yesterday. I am in an audial based heaven.

deerhoof
live Deathcab
broken social scene
bloc party
mxpx
ellen allien

and god. . . i'm loving it all so much.

*ferret twitching*

and yes, fert loves me.

Killing oneself for fun and profit

well. . . there was nothing on google that could be found with the text reading as it does in the title. . . i plan to rectify that

The pinnacle of human form

I am a jobless loser.

I am pathetic and sitting in a community college for my SECOND YEAR and only slightly closer to getting out and getting transferred.

I live at home

I don't get out at all

I have multiple blogs

and I'm fat

I am a total loser, sad sack case.


and mister fert still loves me.

The freckles in our eyes are mirror images

So much crappy shit going on recently for me. It seems like nothing in the last few days has been intended to be at all enjoyable. Though I guess always feeling sorry for myself and never doing anything to make my situation better could also be a factor in this crappy life thing I got going. Though I guess not working at the store of which I don't speak will be a huge boost to my general mood.

yeah. I'm likely leaving hot topic. Surprised? You shouldn't be. I think omer and Anna are sick of me always bitching and moaning about the stuff we sell and the people we sell it too. I just kinda stand there being the typical anime geek and try to make all the other anime geeks feel like we are cool too. Really, we are. mhmmm. . . Sure. Not having to dress a "scene" will be nice too. Because frankly, half the reason I started there was because I wouldn't have to worry about shit like my clothes. Having to "tune-in" my outfit was ricockulous. But, hey, we all do what we do for the paycheck right? I guess. Just seems like a stupid and self-defeating way to live.

Played a crapload of Ninja Gaiden at Omers house and godDAMN that game is gorgeous. I've played it through a couple of times before, once for speed, once for inventory. But seeing it all again on widescreen HD? Truly awe inspiring.

muah, just took a short break to watch tee-vee with the mother and I now remember why I stopped watching television. . . And why I'm getting set to move out. *eyeroll*

and mister fert STILL loves me.

Purple eyeshadow and toothbrushes

I'm being ricockulously lazy and just bumming around the house for hours. I woke up around ten and yet I have done nothing with my day. I kinda made fun of my sister and then continued to walk around the house looking like a sleepy hobo. Mister fert loves me no matter though, so I guess that's a good thing. How are ferrets here at all? No survival skills. . . None.

I should make a bagel and wake up. But that involves getting awake. And I don't even know what I want to do today. Most likely more bumming.

motivation is not my strongest suite as of late. Or ever really, looking back on my life. I should change this layout. Just for the fuck of it. But that involves actually doing something and I've already been over how I feel about that.

I feel awful about always writing in my blogs because I know everyone hears the typing and is thinking that I'm writing some new short story that will win me esteem and money and publishing deals. But I'm not. I'm just being an emotional teenager and writing about what makes me something special. About why I'm not just like everyone else, why you should pay attention to me. But. . . You shouldn't. I'm really not something that should be noticed.

Illness

ew ew ew

i'm all gross and sick. Pretty much since monday morning i've been quite ill. Not like the cute, fever and headache cold. No, the disgusting sick that makes everyone just leave you alone for a day or two.

i made a really stupid mistake the other day that i really hope doesnt fuck things up in the future. If he asks. . . i was drunk and not thinking/not myself. which, considering my level of sleep deprivation, is almost true. He's so cute too. what a shame he is an awesome friend.