Current Music:Radiohead - Electioneering
There are things I don't like saying in a private forum simply because writing to a specific audience who I pick and choose from feels too much like pandering my emotions. There is more freedom in writing to whomever might come pass. Definitely the anonymity is crowds thing going on. I avoid so many topics in Livejournal because there are so few people who I know on there, meaning that everything I write I tailor for this group. PitsIncluded was probably me at my most sincere, when I would write any and everything regardless of who might see it because when there are more than three thousand page views a day, it becomes ridiculous to care what anyone thinks at all. Sure, in the end, it was all screwed up because of a leak of information, me feeling too comfortable. I miss those days though, where it seemed like I was almost too understood. I had people from school who I didn't even know being all empathic with me. I liked it. I don't regret shutting it down, there are very few things I regret in my life, but I do regret destroying so much of my past.
I become so emotional like this when I clean my room. It must be a mix of procrastination and concurrent emotional cleansing.
sooo, for the regular update on life in a form that I have to do once I've been away for a while:
-Lost my V-card, cybergeeks across the nation cried
-started massage school.
-cut more
-back on anti-depressants
-started taking birth control pills
-quite anti-depressants again
-. . . That might be it
damn, my life is boring.
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