mediocrity blows

ha, back into the whole blogging thing again. Tommorow is my last day of school, then ill have the whole summer to bulk up my blog with meaningless posts. So anyway, an update on my life. I have no boyfriend, not even a half assed relationship with an older (man, boy, you decide). I have been getting close with Pieters girlfriend (ten months now), which is kinda odd, but in a good way. She's cool and funny. Shes not that used to people like me either. you know, the whole piss your pants funny yet under tones of sarcasm at the world. Thats what the psycologist said anyway. Stupid broad. I tried to commit suicide again, i took a massive OD on Aleve, which by the way, will NEVER kill you, just give you one bitch of an ulcer (hole in the stomache) and a headache. Anyway, back to Pieters girlfriend, Heather. Yeah, we knew each other since forever. We were never really friends and she said that during middle school she hated me. Well she got over it when she had a thing going for Pieter during the summer and when school started again i was already hanging out with him (we met the year before that). Its cool that we are friends because, yeah shes a cool person and also because, for reasons beyond my fathoming, Ashley has moved on from me and is hanging around people i have strong urges to body slam. And last friday was Micheals last day. I am really going to miss him, but i dont think he'll miss me as much. He was almost crying after saying goodbye to Ashley but i was just like well then, bye. I felt so insignifigant. Like lost and forgotten. A crappy feeling nonetheless. Ashley is so mean to me now. Her new friend, Joe, he hates me, yet ashley will try to get me to go out with her and joe and steven (dont know him but i hate his sister). It sucks cause she'll be talking with Steven and ill stand there whilst Joe takes cheap shots at me. It just really bugs the fuck out of me that she trys to get me in these situations. AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH... I physically want to scream. Go out to the football field at the school and scream to my little hearts content. Es lo muy fun.Yeah. so... I still want to scream and (or) punch something really hard. so much passive aggresion. I need to yell at someone. Or let out some of my *sexual* frustrations. That's what i get for cutting off a relationship that was almost purely manifested in a physical manner. im so bored. I'll blog more later... hopefully.

Take care
CMaZ




Greetings from the State of Confusion!