Something, i dont know what, inside of me makes me angry, makes me scream and kick and want to hurt every single time people tell me that i am wrong when i feel that i am oh so very right. The problem, of course, is that i dont feel physical pain as. . . well, pain. I can cut and burn and dont want it. I want my pain. I want to feel awful and worse than i did so i can have some control over this monster that everyonehit and feel it but not flinch or not want it. It feels good again but i else can unleash at a moments notice. I could rip and fight right now. I hate and hiss and grate my teeth. This is not something i want right now. This is something that other people telling me right now. I dont want it to be telling me how wrong i am right now. I DONT WANT PEOPLE TO TELL ME IM WRONG RIGHT NOW.
and what happens when i say what i think is that i am worse. I dont feel pity for myself. I feel angry at me. No one seems to realize that the person i want to hurt most is myself.
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