I was diving through my many pages of ancient web presence and found that old, beat up Livejournal. What an emotional read that has been. I was never positive during that time, I had some shitty friends, I had some really amazing friends and I think I missed someone being in love with me completely.
I'm pretty impressed with the changes I've made in how I view the world, how I react to others and the steps I've taken to become better for myself. I'd almost completely forgotten about the brief fling with Scott, the humble and doomed Rich debacle, as well as the trainwreck that was my friendship with Anna. My biggest regret is letting my friendship with Gabe fade away. He is such an nuanced and genuine person and I've missed out on years of that. The best choice I made was slowing down on my blogging.
I also found my post about losing my virginity. An interesting look back and, oddly enough, still pretty spot on about how I feel about that whole situation as it happened.
There are so many posts, in my gaming groups, exhibitionist groups, amongst my friends and my public persona.
I miss Jaime. I read a short story I had written for her to perform for her ASL class. It was a little beautiful. "Why did you leave your Heaven?" "It became a prison the moment I saw you." I think I can do something with the story I wrote, something bigger than an AIM conversation, anyway.
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