I should be truthful.

This is a sneaky blogpost; I'm at work and I'm trying to be discreet because I actually have a lot to do today. 

I feel that I should amend a small piece of my story for my own future face palming. 

I have texted APF. At first because I didn't want to spend thirty dollars more than I didn't want to talk to him. Then just because he was a good person who I had a good time with. The first didn't work out, had to get the damn cab, but since then it has been a really shitty, controlled, careful conversation. 

Melanie accidentally reminded me of him and that's sorta what got me started. Not saying I didn't hurt before or even that it doesn't sting a little bit even now. Despite that, I liked him for a reason and, more than just romantically, I enjoyed his presence in my life. 

It's a lot more stilted now. I know I'm an intense person and he did let me know that it bothered him (not recently, when we broke things off). I can't be as. . . crazy as i normally am anymore. Truthfully, I'm really only full crazy for a few people anyway and it was really soon to be putting that all out there for a newbie. In a way, it felt good to stretch out and relax with a person. But it also feels good knowing I didn't  burn that bridge, that I don't have to avoid him (not that hard anyway; we live on separate sides of town) and I can share a laugh now and then with a fellow weirdo.