Again... Again... Recycle emotion

I am tired. A lot more tired than I have ever been before. I don't know why but we think it is the spermy medicine. The Zoloft. Well yeah, drowsiness is a side effect. But so is sleeplessness. So who knows. I am with Tim. Together. He wanted me. But I don't know. I like feeling wanted, it is something I don't get so often. David doesn't bother me so much when I know someone wants me. No, I didn't get with Tim because of David. I didn't want David to know but me and Ashley were talking about it and he over heard. Fuck him. He wants to make fun, whatever, he is worse. And Bryan told me that I am way cooler than David. But, back to Tim, I don't think it is going to work. He made me really uncomfortable the other day. I was in a position I didn't want to be in. I told him and he kept on holding me. So I kicked him out of my way. He also wants me to go to him apartment alone. I told him that I didn't like that idea and he tried to make me feel bad for it. Also the fact that Tim lied to my dad about schooling. He told my dad that he goes to Mission when, in fact, he doesn't even go to any school. That bothers me. If he can lie so easily... Well, yeah. And he isn't that smart. Well, not in the way I am. He used to do drugs and drink. And he still sorta drinks. There is so much. I feel bad for only talking about the bad things. I mean, he is a nice guy. He makes me feel nice, sometimes. I just don't like so much of it I don't like. I think I rather like being single more anyway. I don't feel so bad about flirting and joking and rubbing Elis. Man, that is just plain funny. I was feeling Elis' leg up in the library and then he did the same to me. It was hilarious. And then I put my hand in his pocket as well all left the library and he grabbed my ass and squeezed. It was so funny, in that weird way. Mom bought Toasty O's so I can take those to school tomorrow and me and Elis can have our Toasty Bawls. Yeah, we are odd. But we like it this way. Man, I still need to buy gifts for everyone. I haven't bought anything yet. Well, I have a couple of jobs to do this weekend, so I should have some bank for gifts. I have the most awesome idea for what to get ash and Nic. I have no idea what to get heather. I have a feeling but not sure yet. Something good for all. Oh, I get to be narrator for the Advanced Drama Christmas Showcase! Yup, it rocks. I cant wait. I will be up in the booth and I still get lines! I love these people I am meeting. They all rock. I love the friends I have. All of them are so great. I am incredibly lucky to have meet such wonderful people. Ashley, Heather, Nichole, Pieter, Fujii, Bryan, Adrian, Romero, Andre, Elis, you guys are all so awesome. I don't know how I would be without your great influence on who I am. I know I haven't been myself lately and I don't know why either. I have just been off. I hope to be better soon. I am just doing whatever I can to keep my head above water.