I feel like I can't escape my mind.

*rubs at face*

tomorrow morning, around the time I would usually go to bed, I will be leaving for Jamies house for a few days. I'm excited.

I guess. I mean, I know I should be excited, I haven't seen Jaime since her graduation.

but. . .

I don't know. I want to sleep. I want to just sorta hermit. But that sorta thing is a lot easier to do when your friends aren't the sort to make sure you do get out.

which, I suppose, is the mark of actual friendship.

So I kinda, uh, I don't know. Scott, I am fairly certain, has no interest in me. I realize this is likely my own fault, for being so goddamned awkward and nervous that I do stupid things. It can't be helped. It would be nice if I could, you know, turn down the spazzometer, but hey, I guess that is just what I get for being me.

I would be nice if, you know, I could glide, gracefully into a room wearing a completely decent sweater that, still, clung to me while speaking in a low husky voice that, despite saying only the most mundane of information, held the attention of every male and probably even questionable females.

but, hey, that isn't me. Who would ever want a krista who could be sure of herself? Not me!

Ignoring sex and all that stuff isn't that hard. Really, unfortunately actually, I think that once I am able to get over the pressure to do what everyone expects of me, I might actually be asexual. Instead of, you know, just thinking about it seriously as something I might maybe just kinda sorta could be.

mmm, modifiers.

I smell delicious because Anna bought me a BILLION JILLION goodies from Lush. Okay, she actually got me their Christmas gift set but close enough. Sonic Death Monkey may just be my favorite thing ever. Ever. Don't argue, it is just that good.

I found a switchblade and now it is mine. I like it. I was flicking it in and out idly while waiting for the bus yesterday. Good times, especially since the Witnesses aren't so keen to approach me. Bitches.

For the bus trip my mom told me to look like a guy so people wouldn't bother me. I reminded her that I am stronger than most males. She refused to believe that people would ignore me based on my physical strength versus my, you know, gender. BECAUSE THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE, LoLROFLC0PTER!!!1!11!.

*cough*