i know i don't matter to him. I know it in my mind. Obviously i am not important enough to do anything for. I am easy to get to. I am always in contact and he knows he can get with almost anything against me.
I'm stopping that right the fuck now. I won't swallow lie after lie because i want him to like me. If he doesn't like me when i ask for the respect and kindness i deserve then FUCK it. FUCK IT TO HELL. i deserve a lot but mistreatment and degradation are not part of that group. I deserve to be treated well. I deserve to be treated special. Like someone who matters. Matters more than another random girl on the internet. I've been here. I been around. But these people who don't really know him. . . i guess it is because she is beautiful. Like any boy, he wants the better of two deals and she is by far the better. Of course, i would be hypocritical if i said this was a bad thing. Just i don't throw one deal away, i try for as much as i can get. Not like i don't have the time for more people in my life. I have to admit though, i am insulted by the way he tries to make me not being mentioned in his journal or in his top friends on MySpace sound like something he did because i was on some moral high ground. "it's something i knew you didn't care about because it is so petty." Of course i care. I care about you. I want a sign, for me and anyone who cares to see could, that i am worth something to you, in your life to your friends.
do i get it?
no.
i don't.
No comments:
Post a Comment