Been away... Back now.

I have just not been up for blogging lately. I was out at tech for the most part. Way late rehearsals for the play. And I have been so tired. I keep cutting myself. More than I know I should. And my prescription keeps going up. I really need some sort of a break... Soon, I hope. Tech is a lot of fun but all the couples are more couple-y during tech so I always feel more alone. And Ashley, my love, is on spotlights so I dot get to see her much because I am on deck. It is thanksgiving today. I put more blue in my hair. I am tired. My scars are really noticeable. I cleaned most of my room. I need to vacuum and pick up some more stuff. Not much but I still don't want to do it. I see no reason for all of the family to think I keep my room clean. I don't. Jebus, get over it. Ha, speaking of getting over it, I haven't been. Not at all. I am so not over it. David. I was sharing almost all of my poems from "Sketches of Hate and Gore" with Nichole. My god I love her too. She is like the sister I wish I had. She can relate to me, she understands that it doesn't get better so easily. And we shared a lot of our personal poetry. We both understood each other so well. And she complimented my poems so I felt good about them. Her poems were so powerful and emotional. I could really feel them. One or two of them hit a chord that I think many more people would understand. One of the very few emotions that run through all of humanity. She told me I put words into her poems that she had been trying so hard to get out. I understand her. We are so alike. Not in the way that me and Ashley are alike, we are so the same but we have so many differences that compliment each other and (I think, I hope) make us perfect for each other, but me and Nic are just feeling a lot of the same things. I love Ashley Kathleen Kimura like nothing else. I am so lucky to have met her. I cant think of what my life would be like without her. She is the best thing to happen to me since sliced bread. We need to spend this weekend in the RV... Oh yes, we do. I think people are starting to arrive. Oh well, like they don't know what I look like before I wake up. I am still wearing my Pjs. Twinkie pants and a t-shirt. Tre sloppy. I got a free mini-disk from Tremor. It is red and shiny and now I want a mini-disk player. So I asked for one for Christmas. I am part of the Winter showcase for school. Advanced Drama has a showcase twice a year. The first one is a play put together entirely by the drama 2-4 class. I don't know what we are doing exactly yet, but I think I have a good idea. We are going to make it a montage of most every idea that has any potential. I am working as tech and props. I will also be Stage Manager but unofficially because Cassie is stupid and wanted the title. Even though we did have to make up a position for her in real Tech. She is such a loser. Me and Heather and Ashley(the one I love so dearly) all call her Bakery because she has so many rolls. I know, I know, that is really mean but so darn true. I probably should get off my computer now. I just heard Mom and Dad start to fight. Not good. I hate the holidays at home. Oh well, I have The Sandman volume two and a good novel so I am set for anything. And very loud headphones. Those are very necessary. I also need to wrap up my arm so none of the family see if and damn to the seventh layer of hell... Where I am going to go anyway. Damn Mexicans. Okay, I just was forced to finish my room up. All vacuumed and fake clean. You know, the type of clean that is obviously for the sake of guests and no real need. I kinda hate that type of clean and plan to make no moves to keep it this way after the holidays. I am even more tired now and still in my pajamas. I have a really funny picture of Heather and Elis. Melissa took it for her Photo class. It is Heather sticking out her tongue and, unbeknownst to her, Elis standing at her side with his fingers poking up behind her head. Mucho cool and funny. Especially since it is a black-and-white picture. I am going to try and scan it and put it up on the web. Because it is really funny. And I like pictures on a webpage. I am still so tired. I am listening to angry white boy music to try and keep my self awake but I am still tempted by the military style neatness of my formerly mussed up bed. I hate when a room is this neat, even the people look out of place in it. Like they are just sitting there waiting for someone to take a picture so they can carefully step back over the velvet rope and look at the rest of the rooms dedicated to 21st century decor. I still have all those bags of cotton from Halloween. When I dressed as Partially Cloudy with a Chance of Rain. I broke all of the squirt guns but the cotton still persists. Enough cotton to last me all of my life. I wish that was just a hyperbole, but I am serious. I rarely use cotton and now I have so much of it I have no idea what to do other than put it away and hope it disappears. Well, I think I have to get dressed and wrap my arm up and get a nap in before I have to smile for the family. Bye for now. Talk later.