Another day and I did absolutley nothing. Nothing whatsoever was done by me that could ever be of any use to anyone. And, after i finish this post, I am going to go write some more in a story I never plan to show anyone. So totally useless, it feels just a little odd. But in that good way. I'm just sitting and listening to music and writing shit down. So much fun. Aw, there goes the dogs, barking at something. I'm just going to sit here and let someone else get it. I am so loving this. Tomorow i have to do a bunch of shit, so for right now, I am doing nothing. Two more weeks and i have to go back to school. I'm sorta excited, in all actuality. It should be my year. I have a schuedule that is so packed other people just asked how I got the administration to let me do it. I have zero period and a full day. Seven classes, as opposed to the regular six, the maximum usually allowed. I am starting to figure out who i am, i would never be so presumptious as to say i already know who I am. I am slowly finding out how far i will go, what i won't say and how i want to appear. Yes, how you look is important. Those who say that it never matters what you wear are lying through their teeth, and you doamn well that those people thought out excatly how tattered their clothes look and know how they want to look. No matter what a person is wearing, you know they had to put some thought into it. It is only our nature, unrefutable and undeniable. I know that I may look sloppy, boyish and quite "seattle" or "Portland" (according to my Aunt Jill, who works at the airport), but believe me, i put thought into it, and my sloppieness is highly calculated. The dirtier the pants, the tighter the t-shirt. It all works out even though I am the only one who thinks that I actually look pretty hot on most days. My black vans pants were just washed and looked spiffy so, and because my legs were finally shaved, i wore them as shorts with my worst looking black t-shirt, the sorta holey, faded, tribal spiderman shirt. Tied my hair back and didn't gel the short hairs back like i do most of the time. I hate in when girls pull out hair to hang out of their ponytails or buns. It just looks stupid. I have to wear that part of my hair out because it is too short to pull back. Looks terrible, in my honest opinion, to tell you the truth. Ahh, David finally signed back on. I am so bored here, with no one to talk to about how i am doing nothing. Oh, and my theme song is playing. I put my Jukebox (i only use it because iy automatically organizes and catalouges the CDs i rip) on auto Dj, and my theme finally came up. I don't really like the band, but the lead singer is hot, which is why i bought the CD in the first place. I had a dream about the guy too. Sugar Ray. Yeah, yeah, the musoc, for the most part, blows. But there is one song that I think, as well as other, would be chossen as the theme song for my life, if anyone were to ever decide to make my life a series. Falls Apart. I'll paste the lyrics at the bottom, for your enjoyment. Ooo, good idea, i make a new sidebar where i can paste new lyrics whenever the urge to do so strikes me. Woo hoo. that is so going to happen if i don't think of a reason why not soon. As soon as school starts, I hope i can can still regularly blog. I will have so much homework it won't even be funny. No more hanging out after school for two hours. No more reading a novel befor egetting started on my homework(that is an exaggeration, but not by much). I have to do everything after the homework. And i have to do it all. I can't screw up my last chance to redeem myself. I want to go to college, i want to write and i want respect for what I have done by myself in my life. Yeah, I'm prideful, who give a shit? I like my personality, for the most part. Like when i can outsmart my stupid blonde therapist, that is one of the things i like. I like being able to not need anyone. I like being able to be friends with anyone i want. I enjoy being able to think beyond the comprehension of a two year-old(cough... kelly ...cough). It is fun to run mental circles around my parents and Annie. Thes are the perks of being me. The cons of living in my skin, however, are far too numerous to type. So, I will leave myself with this nice little esteem booster. *Yay*. Well, nighty time for me. I want to go shopping tomorow. Get more school shit. Damn.

FALLS APART

She falls apart by herself
No ones there to talk or understand
Feels sustained, dries her eyes
Finds herself, opens the door inside.
People see right through you
Everyone who knew you well.
Falls apart, might as well
Day is long and nothing is wasteful

Runaway runaway
Hold, hold you but your going away
Runaway runaway
Hold you tomorrow but your leaving today

You walk along by yourself
There's no sound, nothing is changing
Been gone away, left you there
Emptiness is nothing you can't share
All those words that hurt you
More than you would let it show
Comes apart, by yourself
All is well and everything is wasted

Runaway runaway
Hold, hold you but your going away
Runaway runaway
Hold (Want) you tomorrow but your leaving today

Sometimes we'll feel around and this dance instead can't be down
All the sound of me on my own
Any sound of me again it's time away surround around a friend
I know where I know where no where to runaway

She falls apart, no one there
Hold her hand, it seems to disappear
Falls apart, might as well
Day is long and nothing is wasted

Runaway runaway
Hold, hold you but your going away
Runaway runaway
Hold (Want) you tomorrow but your leaving today
Runaway Runaway
Hold (Want) hold you (Want) but your going away
But your leaving today, but your leaving today