ha, me alone, in the middle of the night, in my room, drenched in the glow from my power-sucking, gamma-ray-emmiting, big-ass-screen moniter. Bed is a mess... one half-eaten bowl of cheese enchiladas (yes, i ate enchiladas from a bowl, im weird, we know this) still sitting on my desk, by the mouse pad, just as lonely as I am. 1:57 in the morning and im guzzeling the orange drink (soda, would i drink juice? HA! well i would and i love orange juice but that is SO beside the point right now). I just got off Everyonesconnected right now. I'm happy. My excessive posting is finally getting me noticed. I have completely filled my "last five people to visit you" list. And that one hot guy is on it, so im glad. My constant stalking of his profile helped.... My complete lack of life is quite funny. That nice girl from some island or something dropped me a line, too. You ever notice that what ever I was doing right before I start to blog, it's always what a huge chunk of my blog is about. Do I really care about EC? No, not really. But it was what I was doing last, so that's the mode mind I'm in. Oh yeah, this is mostly in reference to ashley, when I blog, I go into author mode. I type faster ( i often have to republish my posts 4-7 times to fix errors), I say stuff clearer, and when I'm angry, clearer translates into sharper, more cutting and far more painful to read. Same goes for anyone I post negatively (or positively, I'm afraid to say to all those kind kind people at EC whoms' praises I was just singing) about. My blog is like uber-concetrated Crista, far more potent. Dillute with three times its' own wieght in water and i'm somewhere around there. What i say, angry or not, is always the truth in my mind. What I say is always what I feel. Emotion and passion, in writing, is not something I can turn on and off, like some people. Just, I am far clearer in my blog because I can go back, revise, sharpen my words and spend extra minutes going through my didctionary to achieve a somewhat decent level of appropriate word choice in here. (6:05 AM in my time zone, just keeping you informed). I hope you enjoy this. This blog was produced through the all-night, non-sexual endeavors of a very tired girl. First I couldn't eat, now I'm not sleeping. If I didn't know better, I would say it's the guy screwing me up. But I know better... don't I? Pray the future tell. Hey! Maybe I can pass of the whole waif look today! Not eating for a few days made my pants a bit loose and the bags under my eyes... woo wee! I might be ably to pass this off with a little bit of eyeliner. Nah, I'm a little too well nourished (and too umm, well-endowed *ahem*) to be waif. Oh, if I had only been around during the Marliyn Monroe days. *sigh* She was beautiful. Then that damn Twiggy came along. Skinny whore. Why did the malnourished-war-child-who-has-recently-aquired-many-intestinal-disorders look stick? Dude, my cousin, Mel, does the whole model thing and she looks sorta normal, thickskinned at the worst, in all of her pictures, the ads, mervyn's catalog thingys. Once you she her in real life though, it's like damn, where did she go? Makes me wonder about the girls who look thin in the catalog. These girls must be skin, bone and enough muscle to hide the jutting hip bone and mile-high collar bone. Am I jealous? Yes, I think I am. I am (i must stop using this word) pathetic. AH, I must call shipman! I almost forgot. A lot of this drama is circling him, and I wonder if he realized this yet. Maybe he set it up? But he would have to have another lever on David. Other than Kelly. I think. Becasue if he was working solely through Kelly... Not even Daniel is that subtle. And that would involve Ashley. But then Ash said he called her... and seeds of doubt about me... knowing (did I tell him???) about my history with Kelly. ARGH! I need my journal! I wish I remebered where I put it... I may have throw it away... it would have been 5444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444566666666666666666
(my cat, she turned num lock on too if you wanted to know) Anyway, I don't care. I needed to stop thinking along those lines anyway. I don't need to know the truth, I really have to stop all my manipulating bull. Stopping now... For now, at least. i really need a new hobby (6:44 AM). Any way. I'm going to straighten up. I can't live like this forever, now can I? (i put this in a new post to prove the time)