Okay, I so could not blog because my damn LAN monitor would not work for me. Anyway, I restarted my computer and all was fine. What have I done for my three-day weekend . . . Well, Sunday, I went over to David’s house for a while and he has kindly asked me not to divulge the details’ online. This makes it sound worse than it was but really, I swear it wasn't that that bad. Or am I just saying that so you WON'T think it was that bad . . . you will never know. BWAhahahaha. Well, if you're David, then yeah, I guess you WILL know but everyone else will suffer the curiosity. He he. It was fun. Actually, I'm not quite sure how I feel about it. I guess I liked it but . . . there's always a but . . . I dunno. I really don't. I guess I feel like, now, there is no way to end what we have. Not that I want to, I don't. I don’t want to end it but now I am afraid I can't even if I did. Me, Morgan and Ashley were all talking about the guy we hang out with and it felt like they all thought of David as my boyfriend. Scary for me. I don't want a commitment. I don't want another relationship where I pledge the rest of my life to another individual. My life is my own and I worked damn hard for it. I don't want to go out again and tell someone else that they can take all of my life and keep it forever because I "love" them. I don't know how to love. I am only 16 years old. Jebus, nobody my age can know true love. True love is not something you find, it is something you work for and learn to do. I'm so cynical at such a young age. Lol. I would say that maybe I could grow out of it but I have a feeling that it will merely develop more. My cynicism, I mean. I just got back from Ashley's house a little while ago. She was having a Labor Day BBQ. It was quite fun. We almost had a repeat of the cake incident but I was saved by Ashley's Grandma. Ashley tried to stuff an eclair of some sort up my nose. She almost made it too. Thank the lord for her Grandma. I actually spent most of the time wishing David was there so that I could talk to him. Maybe it was best that he wasn't. We usually don't get much talking done when we are together. Not that that's a bad thing either. Just, as always, I am confused. Maybe this is a permanent state of mind for me. Wouldn't that just blow?