Man, this day totally rocks. I mean, I am so happy right now. The reason why? David helped me get over him, completely and totally. Well, he didn't know he got me over him. But he did. It was one second "I really like him, do I want to hear this?" then the next "Haha, what a FREAK! I guess if that is what he likes. Cool." It started today when I was standing where we all hang out and David turns to me and says "it hurts when you bite but this weekend, DAMN, this girl hella bit my arm and it fucking HURT! And my ear... And my tongue." I was asking him how she bit his tongue and he wouldn't say so, of course, being me, I keep asking and he tells me its a long story and to ask him online. Later, after lunch ends I ask him again, not sure if I really want to hear that he has this wonderful girlfriend or something. Well, he tells me this long, drawn out version of his story that ends up with this dominatrix, juaggalette chick holding him down and making out with him. While he was telling the first part of the story I was just a little put off, you know, because he told me he still liked me when he broke things off before [DAVID: YOUR NOT screwed up there is NOTHING wrong with you DAVID: I want you as a Friend DAVID: and I DO like you] and that "DAVID: if I hadn't had such a bad time in a previous relationship I would have wanted us to be more than just friends but bad experience has taught me so I wanted to take time away DAVID:so you were never the problem" but, by the time he finished I was happy about it. Not that he had lied to me before but happy that I didn't care. I didn't care that he didn't like me, I didn't care that he met someone else or that we would never be together. All in a space of about two minutes. It was awesome. I guess I just realized that he didn't want a relationship with someone like me and I didn't really want to be with someone like him. That was the type of relationship and the type of girl he wanted, some dominatrix, seriously sadomasochistic chick who likes ICP. That is not me. And the type of guy I want is a nice, funny, reasonably mature guy who understands me and knows how to talk to me and how to treat me. We both want such different things yet I was chasing after him like he was the best thing to ever happen to me. Guy wise, he was probably the second worse. I need to find a guy like Morgan except in my age group. Either way, I am so happy. Heather and Ashley were happy too. They noticed right off after class let out that I was happy for the first time in ages. I told both of them about my revelation. Heather must have hugged me five times and Ashley couldn't believe it. I guess I'm just happy because I figured it out. And now that I finally got over that, I can move on and find someone else. Someone who really does care about me that way. No, I am not going to go back to Morgan. I want to keep that road closed off. Oh man, my outfit is SMOKIN today. I got my Vans zip-off pants, a long sleeve black shirt and my Warning tee (red). AH! I'm still happy. I feel like I don't have to deal with it anymore. It works too because the other weekend, the one I spent over at Ashley's, I was telling her that I know I don't need a guy, just David made me happy. Now I see, it wasn't David, it was just that I felt wanted. I was wrong, I did need a guy to be happy for a while there. But once I stop caring about him that way, BOOM! I don't need it anymore. I know I am cared for by Ashley, Heather, George and Pieter and Daniel. I know David still cares about me as his friend I do care about him too. But I doubt he really cares that much at all, I mean he never tried to help me with anything... Ever. I'm glad to get it all out of the way. And I need not move on to another guy. I don't even think any of it really hurts me anymore at all. I'm fine. I'm better than fine, I am actually really good. Yeah, I guess I would be just peachy.

CMaZ