This is so strange. Lately I don't really want to blog so much. I am kinda forcing myself to now. I don't feel so good. People are bitching at me. Some are taking what I say in my blog way too seriously. I don't know why. This all sucks. Life seems to feel like shit lately. I thought I explained how my blog is kinda like concentrated Crista. Take whatever I say with a grain of salt please. More for your sake than mine. I know what I mean when I write. You don't. I wrote just the same as when nobody read my blog. Now you all do and you try and pin me with what I say. DON'T! Stop, you cannot take what I say here and use it against me. You can not do that. Nobody can take what I say here and use it to try and hurt me. I never said my life was worse than yours, I do not give a fuck if you feel I am unfair in here. I probably am but it is my blog so you can fuck off. You can think whatever of me. And in the situation of Heather in particular, when did I say you had a perfect life? When? I don't get why the hell you tripped out. I never said I don't except you. I was talking about how I make it better for me. I never said I don't care about you feel, all I said was you didn't care that it bothered me. Apparently I have no right to feel left out. You have a great boyfriend but you have to have the affection of every other guy too. You can't let me feel special or pretty or important ever. You always have to make me the background of your importance. And you twist it around so you can say I don't care about you and that I ignore you. I don't. When did I? Why do you have to make everything something you didn't do? You admitted that you lied about me to save you own ass. I was around first but I have to look like the bad one. I have to be the one in the wrong. Will you always lie about me to make yourself seem better? What have you already said about me so you can get what you want? Fuck,. How many people do you lie to about me? I don't know, I guess I never will. It hurts me so much yet nobody cares. You don't care, you just don't want guilt. How can you blame what I said before on me? I had about two sentences and you took it out and made it seem like I wrote an attack against you. Nobody seems to understand how often I am hurt. Especially just by the littlest things. I guess (or some other day on the hesitancy. Something recently happened.) I am totally over David but the fact that he lied to me so often kinda bothers me. But then I guess that it was the right time for him with the right girl who was not me. Ashley doesn't think she is so hot but wow... She is. I saw a picture for a few seconds today and damn. I don't know if he was joking about hooking me up but he said she had a twin... Nice. She looked really blonde... Not exactly my type of girl, but oh well. I still don like all of his lies to me. I guess I am overly sensitive sometimes, especially when it comes to things like romantic (not that there was ever any romance) relationships. Last time I was the one to close it and it didn't hurt as much or have much of a hangover because I had a chance to think about it. This all sprung up then sprung away. Please hold back all sexual jokes for that line. Thank you. I try to be happy but sometimes it seems like everyone wants to bring me down. I don't know why but it seems that way sometimes, almost all the time. Well, I'm talking to Ashley right now. I have to tell her some stuff now. Late.
CMaZ